oriharaizaya | Recent Entries

...it's been a while.

my style with these kind of things is to write something every 9 years and then suddenly come back to it, it seems.

well, a lot has happened since my last entry. as you would assume. it's been nearly a whole year.

first...! i got my first job! it was only for a month or so, but i had a lot of fun and i got a good paycheck from it.

i was working at walmart doing remodeling overnight. which was fine, cause i was already staying up till around 5 in the morning anyways. i just didn't anticipate getting off at 7. those two hours make a big difference, you know. but it worked out good! and i liked leaving so early i got to see the sunrise anyways. that's the only way i'd get to see it after all haha. this was during may so i got to use the money i earned on izaya orihara bday kuji. ^_^

after that i just chilled for a bit. and then in june...!

i saw fall out boy for the first time in 8 years... ohh i was so over the moon. i was a bit stressed because it was the middle of summer in the texas heat and one of the things of my condition is well... heat intolerance... so yanno. but i did fine! i got these things for my neck to keep me cool. and i had so much fun!!! my 8ball was... ok admittedly the song i got for my 8ball i dont rly care for 😭 sorry! i still enjoyed it regardless but after the fucking ginasfs 8ball i was hyping it up super crazy.

AND CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT? JUST LIKE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, THEY WENT TO THAT FUCKASS CITY DALLAS THE NIGHT AFTER AND PLAYED ONE OF MY FAVES... OHHH AFTER LIFE... I WANT YOU SO BAD...

so they announced another leg of the tour! you best believe i'm gonna be there. this time, they're going to austin and fort worth. i have a ticket for the dallas show, but i'm considering going to the fw show too just on principle of i cannot miss another one of these damn shows i guess.

speaking of...! they're gonna be headlining next yr's wwwy festival! and guess who with???????????

my chemical romance.

would have loved to get tix. but it's in vegas. and ga started at 400. so no thanks. i miss warped tour. (i never even got to go)

but yanno if mychem's headlining wwwy of all places that means they have to have something else in store right? right??? (looking with big eyes)

there's been a lot of speculation about mcr5 but nothing's really came out of it. i'm waiting patiently. but that reminds me...i didnt even talk about fob's new record. it's called so much (for) stardust! i dunno if i mentioned that previously. but my god is it fucking beautiful. oh my god. it's like fucking peak. it's so so good. i am my own muse and the title track are like some of the best songs ever. it is insane how much i love fall out boy.

i preordered two versions of the tttyg 20th anni vinyl! theyre a pretty blue... one just shipped today, and the other's gonna ship out friday hopefully... i have no way of knowing because for some reason i have never received a single order confirmation or shipment email from their site despite receiving every package in the mail. but unfortunately i have bad news about another anniversary.

well. this week is folie a deux's 15th anniversary. theres like 5 different release dates depending on the country so ya. but regardless. they announced a cute limited edition blue vinyl to celebrate right? only 2500. pretty crazy stuff. dropped at 11:30 am.

i was there at 11:30. refreshed. nothing. 11:31. it's there. i run and put it in my cart and click the checkout button. ahhh ahhh i've gotta wait in a queue now. okay whatever. it's done time to checkout.

the folie a bleu vinyl was removed from my cart due to being sold out.

...

i have no funny witty thing to say here. i just stared at my phone with a blank expression for a few seconds in disbelief. i went to twitter to see a lot of people saying the same thing. i was pretty pissed already but then a bit later it starts coming out that people are already reselling them on ebay. for how much? upwards of 300.

do you know how much it went for on the fob merch site? fourty dollars.

over 7x markup.

and it wasnt just a few! no, no... these were bots. they had some sellers with ten, five copies. supposedly around 2000 of those 2500 copies went onto ebay thanks to bots.

so yeah. i'm really pissed. i really hope something happens about it. i don't have any expectations but whatever.

i have a few other packages out in the mail right now too. there's been so much durarara merch coming out lately i have been going crazy. they had another collab with dash store where everyone's in suits... ohh my beautiful wife looks so good. and they even included kurumai in the collab this time...! they both look so cute. and then there was the matsuri kuji!

oh, it was a nightmare... it's like every damn time i pull in a kuji with mikado i'm fated to get like 400 items of him.

i didnt even get s-prize!!! which was a selection of the large acrylic stand. which i wanted really bad.

but it's okay. i have the small one of izaya. which means i can admire his bare ankles and his feet in geta...

sorry. i'm getting too depraved for dreamwidth. it seems this year has been full of my depravity. which is a bit amusing, but still.

an. e. ways.

i want you to listen so very very closely to what i am about to say.

for five years. i have been wishing for something.

when i got into figure collecting years ago, and subsequently, nendoroids, a thought occurred to me:

"wouldn't it be nice if shizuo and izaya got nendoroids?"

during my triannual izaya, and by extension, durarara, hyperfixation/obsession of 2019, this morphed into, "please good smile company, i need shizuo and izaya nendoroids more than i need oxygen."

every wonfes that came, i would fill out my bingo so eagerly with an image of shizuo and izaya, hoping for my dream to come true.

i began to lose hope late 2020. i was so sad. so depressed. so empty. and yet deep down i kept wishing for it. i even tried pretending i didn't give a fuck just so gsc could announce them faster.

well. i am mentioning this all for a reason.

it was a friday.

i had woke up to get ready for an appointment at the endodontist i had later that day.

i checked my phone very lazily. i wanted to see if any cute izaya fanart had been posted while i was asleep.

twitter opened to the 'for you' tab. whatever. i didn't pay it much mind. until i saw it.

i didn't believe what i was seeing. i couldn't move. i laid there for at least 10 seconds, trying to process exactly what i was reading and looking at. finally it began to sink in. this was real. the izaya orihara nendoroid was real. my heart rate climbed to a nice 120bpm without me even standing up. i couldnt think. i couldn't type. i jumped out of bed to run and tell my mother. instant regret. my heart rate spiked to 150bpm accompanied by excruciating chest pain that i pushed through. i woke my mom up to tell her the news. i went back to my room. i paced around for another 10 seconds coming to terms with it. i was trying not to experience a heart attack right then and there.

oh my goodness. the izaya orihara nendoroid is real. the shizuo heiwajima nendoroid is real. it only took me nagging gsc in their request box for 90000 times over the years but they are finally real. i cannot believe it. seriously. i had to keep coming back to it once a day for at least 2 weeks because i could not believe it was real.fall out boy jutst posted pavlove teaser. i hate this banmd.

OKAY BACK TO TOPICX. so yea. i will be preordering at least 2 izaya hnendoroids.

now all i need is a cute sexy bunny 1/4 scale of izaya . freeing contact me we can make this work.

recently, a trailer was posted for a new project narita was working on. at first i was like okay whatever. i'll check it out just bc i see the durarara tag.

GUESS WHO WAS THERE?

MY GOAT... MY ANGEL... MY WIFE...

BUT NOW MORE OF A HAG!!!!

ough... i'm so touched and moved...i know it's not izaya but seeing someone who is based off of him in some way animated by a studio other than shuka or brains base makes me so happy... <33

i hope this means something exciting soon. i rly want a new volume of the izaya novel...!!!!!!!!!!!!! even if it'll take me 9 years to understand it because of my abysmal reading skills in japanese. there was a collab with this stupid mobile game recently. it was so bad. the gacha was so so bad. but i got my beautiful wife!!! so i'm happy.

oh. forgot to mention this till now despite being pretty big but i'm back in school now! i changed my major to biology. i had a good semester! tomorrow is my last final. i registered for next semester already but i'm only going part time cause of the strain on my body.

which, speaking of, my cardiologist prescribed me new meds...! i'm excited to get them whenever my insurance approves them lol. and then tomorrow, after my final, i finally see a gastroenterologist...! which is long overdue but yanno. and then i have a few tests next month as well. so fun!!!

...i'm a little scared of the medical bills i'll get.

but oh well. i'd rather not die yet. so...!

anyways, that's all for now. merry christmas...! ^_^

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: fall out boy ♡

hello.

it's been a while huh? quite a bit has happened since my last entry.

but let us get to the title first.

i do not have the energy to cook. i also do not have a lot of food in my house period. so i get takeout regularly. last thursday was no exception to this. i was like "alright i'm going to go get tonkotsu from town" alright whatever. easy drive.

i go to park. now keep in mind i am a new driver. i still struggle with parking. and this parking lot was full. so im like dear god okay i really prefer parking where theres no other cars but that's not an option here is it. so i sigh mentally prepare myself to turn into this empty spot right....

and i hear this god awful thud. and my heart sinks. because i have just hit the truck next to my spot. so immediately i back up park in the spot get out im like dude holy shit im so fucking sorry. There is no damage on that truck dawg i have a honda civic you really think im gonna be doing any damage to a large truck.

so the guys were pretty cool about it. they didnt wanna file a claim or nothing since there was no damage on their end and for a moment im like Wow thank the lord. i am so glad i got out of this unscathed!

I Check The Front Of My Car.

this humongous fucking dent in the bumper. my heart immediately sinks i am DEVISTATED. my poor beautiful honda civic.

so we've got that to fix. and now my car is giving me like 3 fucking issues and the tire pressure keeps going low so there's a leak we need to find in there too. it could not get any worse than this yes?

I Went to whataburger last night. now let me give a little background. our parking lot is only for two cars. this has worked for years because up until now we've only had two cars. but now it is a problem because.... Where do i put my car? so i've been parking it in the yard straight in from the parking lot right by my room. and it's worked! up until my dad tyold me i cant drive my car around and pull out that way.

i have to back up now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i am a new driver and still have difficulty backing up)

i did this last night 11pm. so theres this spot in the yard where it's kinda soft and you gotta step on the gas kinda hard. ok i did this. i did this a little too hard for a little too long though. and within a few seconds my car crashes into the bushes in front of our house. i am like Holy Shit but i dont think much of it because theyre just bushes okay. so i drive off get my whataburger cvome back yipee all is good.

i wake up today my mom tells me my dad said i messed up my car. im like Huh (confused) and go outside look at the spoiler and Good Fucking God it looks like it got gnawed on by some rabid animal. ythere is a huge dent in the bushes too.

so i managed to fuck my poor car up twice within the span of a little over one week. i'm just thankful it was the spoiler because i do not mind taking it off cuz it kind of fucked with my rearview mirror view anyways. but still.

but enough of that. i got covid again!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was somehow not as bad and yet worse than last time. i dont know if i had another fever this time again but i know i was laying in bed for hours next to the open window because i thought i was gonna vomit so there was that. most of it was just fatigue tho. and i managed to recover within a week or so thankfully.

but the worst part abt it was that i couldnt keep playing persob4 cuz i was so tired.....which brings me to my next point!!!!!

PERSONA 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i finally finished it after like 5 yrs lol. i got to magatsu inaba way back in 2018 on the original p4 w a ps2 emulator but just like randomly stopped palyinf for some reason (lazy) so i never finished the game........im kinda glad i didnt tho bc golden was so much better. i got tohru adachi social link tohru adachi sexy visit alone scene tohru adachi sexy through and through. also my original playthru was in jp and i much prefer adachi eng voice cuz of jyb.

and my word... i was falling over coughing up blood the whole time ... esp during the "go visit adachi alone" scene and accomplice ending... forgive me for saying this but you could really hear the erm... the erm... you could really hear the izaya come out from jyb's voice...

actually adachi is really just a very izayacore character so nobody can be surprised that he is my persona 4 favorite. neither of them can cook, both of them are sad weird pathetic losers, both of them have a Joker Evil Freakazoid side that makes me so hard i cant breathe, etc etc... ^_-☆

(i am extremely deranged and need to be put down)

but you know i don't remember who my fave was back in the day. i think it was either yu or yosuke. and i was also a huge hanashu lol. but that is mainly because i had a crush on yu narukami. i thought all of the persona protags were so cute actually esp naoya urhghhhhhhhhugh if p1 wasn't so terrible and clunky to play i would have gotten further than the hospital 😭😭

honestly now that im older i dont rly think of p5 as my fave persona game anymore. atm it's p4 but thats cuz i only finished 4 and 5. i'd love to finish p3 but the port is god awful lol. personally i would have loved to see portable's femc combined with fes bc i dont like the visual novel type thing but alas.

i want to get arena ultimax off steam too eventually... but i barely play fighting games so i'd suck ass there LOL. i just wanna see adachi again. speaking of... it'd be nice if they ported the dancing games to pc huh !? i have p4d jp edition game card for my vita cuz i got the p4d vita years ago but 1) it's japanese edition so no jyb and 2) it's the only game card in my collection that my vita won't read so im fucked lol... and i have a 100% LEGAL TOTALLY LEGIT digital copy of the eng ver but it's too fucking big for my sd card dawg 😭😭 and im not buying an sd2vita or a new vita sd card so ya.

i used to want a ps4 but that was mainly cuz of p5r and now it's on pc so i could get it there... actually i really need to finish strikers too cuz i got that like early access or something started the first "palace" and then never touched it again. which sucks cuz i did enjoy it quite a bit. hrm maybe i'll go play that now.

but i rly want the dancing games... (gnawing on my shirt and whining) i love my rhythm games... i love tappung buttons to the beat of music it pleases my autism greatly.

anyways. omg this stupid entry has been in the drafts for like nearly a day now i fucking started this at like 3am last night dude. today i had fun. i went to the mall and found RADIOHEAD at my fucking barnes and noble. so now i have kid a vinyl<3 that jmeans theres just one more rh album i like that i dont have a phys copy of yet (the bends) ... still no fob unfortunately. i wanna go back to the b&n in houston i went to it had a whole section for music stuff dude. thats where i got my copy of okc hehe. oh and we also got boba on the way home! it was rly good.

i have a lot of stuff i need to do now... first, i need to get my car fixed, then i need to finally start going back to physical therapy again for my poor back, then i need to go to office depot and get some jewel cases cuz i broke my revenge cd case accidentally, and then i need to finish cleaning up my other room cuz my aunt's coming down from ohio this weekend...

which u know this is the second time she's stayed here when she came down... and the second time my mom freely offered up MY room without even asking me... and when i bring it up to her she gives me money as if thats what this is about... it's just stressful cuz both my rooms are very close to each other and my bathroom is very small so it's not exactly the optimal situation for two people to live in... but mostly my problem is just that i have stuff in that room?😭 like i keep my books cds vinyls etc etc in there... yeah im not in there all the time but that doesnt mean it's just available to be used like that.... i dunno it's whatever... i start to worry what if im just being dramatic and i sound like a bad person cuz i dont wanna give up my room or whstever but i do value my personal space and all that yanno.

but to change the subject... new drrr official art dropped the other day along with a collab/merch... it's everyone in sukajan...

oguhhh......my girlfriend in sukajan................so beautiful you would not believe. i must buy 500000 pieces of the merchandise immediately. it gets me excited for seeing the art for izaya bday kuji. i know it'll be psyche and hibiya ya but HOW will they look !? will they go with the fanon silly wholesome psyche or the annoying snarky psyche from yasudas art ? let us see...

i saw some jp artists i follow saying this too but rather than alts it'd be nice to get more art in just their standard clothes hm ... i have to say i do agree ... though if they wanted to put izaya in a cute outfit with ripped skinny jeans and a fishnet crop top i wouldn't complain . but ya i do like seeing him in his ugly fur coat even if it makes me mad. it's like his trademark. but i like 私服 too like when they give izaya a hoodie and make him look like just some dude you'd see on the street.

but i dont care what he wears i love izaya no matter what. i just have this stupid self indulgent desire to see him in emo clothes cuz i was an emo kid (turned emo adult) and i think he would love mychem ehe.^__^

sdpeaking of mychem ... theyre playing tokyo + osaka shows this month... AND I WON'T BE THEREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its ok... its ok... i hope they do another tour even if it's not this yr i dont mind i just wanna see them again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this time i'll go to ALL of their texas shows im not fucking risking it. i cannot let that dallas shit happen again.

which is why im rly thinking abt getting fob dallas tix too. i wont prolly get nothing too close/expensive cuz i have good seats at the woodlands show but i just wsant to be there for both shows so i'll take whatever isnt too crazy expensive. which is difficult because this is ticketmaster and the year is 2023 and i am going to get 90 fees tacked onto my ticket but wht can i do.

anyways i think i'll end this entry here just cuz it's been in the drafts too damn long brah bye bye now.

Current Mood: excited

happy february! ^_^

i mentioned a few posts ago about the fob show that was happening early this yr. it was so good...! i didn't go but i got to watch the stream and good god they sounded so good. unfortunately joe's taking a break from the band for mental health stuff which sucks cuz i love him but it's more important that he gets himself situated first ...

and then fob started doing some really cryptic shit after that... and then they dropped the first single!!! "love from the other side" ... my word is it beautiful. i've looped it so much since then haha... the guitars specifically are just fucking phenomenal. and the vocals... sasuga patrick stump 🙏🙏

after that was another single ! "heartbreak feels so good" ... i really like the melody in this one as well it makes my brain very happy.

their next album is coming out march 24th... now i'm glad it's sooner but a part of me was hoping it'd be may 4 just because cork tree came out may 3rd and tttyg may 6th lol. ^_^;; i preordered myself a vinyl too because of course. i'll maybe get me a cd but i dunno i need to make more money first .

speaking of money... today was the presale for their tour!!!

but it was through ticketmaster.

and the only texas dates were in the woodlands and dallas.

but the prices were not bad! the most expensive seating was supposed to be $129!! so i was excited to sit right behind the pit.

so tell me why the hell i got out of that queue clicked on a seat in that section and the price read three hundred dollars. that is not what we agreed to ticketmaster.

i ended up settling for a bit higher up. it was like $164 total still though because ticketmaster is a pro scammer and tacks on 3 billion fees just for the hell of it. so for that i do sincerely hope they die and go to hell. <3

i might get tickets for the dallas show but i dunno yet. my bank account is... Not looking good right now so i am trying to hold off on spending anymore. (i say after i pulled in the shizuo bday kuji and then bought shit off surugaya more on that later.)

anyways big news! i mentioned last entry i needed to get my license.

i finally did it...!!!

and on my first try too. my parallel parking was okay too can you believe it lol. my turns are still a little bad tho. i am just overly stressed every time i drive. but the important thing is that i can drive!! it's very fun. i love my car very much. i got me a cute tsurikawa for it as well hehe. now i just need to buy 9000 other accessories for it. ☆

so i went to the park the other day right. not for too long, it was already evening and i just wanted to go see if smth i wrote on a bench yrs ago was still there. (it wasnt...) but so i was coming back right. now let me give you some context. the roads where i live are god awful. it is construction nonstop. and some of the new road is already cracked and fucked up all ugly and shit. whatever anyways. so theres this area of the road where it's got these concrete walls on it right. and there's a little bit of a curve in this one spot.

can you see where i am going with this.

i was driving back already a little on edge worried abt my driving when all of a sudden the worst noise to ever pierce my ears comes out of nowhere. i am immediately silenced and sit up, staring straight ahead as i drive the rest of that drive so stiff feeling a few tears at my eyes. all while videotape radiohead fucking played.

and then i got home and ohhh... my poor car.... i was so heartbroken. i went inside crying over it i was so fucked up. it's not like. terrible or anything it's just a line at the bottom but it kinda fucked with the door and started rusting it so i need to take it to the service center or something soon to get that fixed.

back to that surugaya purchase i made. i bought izaya merch to comfort myself from the stress and pain of messing my beautiful car up really that's all it was. er it may be more of a justification haha ;;

but you know what's REAL crazy? like barely a few weeks after i get my license, my dad's truck stops working right. but it's ok! we still have my mom's car and my car while his truck is in for service. so they use them to go to work and stuff.

and then my mother's car also stops working.

so for the past few days my mom and dad have had to share my single car for work. it works out bc my mom works evening shift but there is no room in there for you know... the Actual owner of the car to use it... so that was really stressful. because now i need to get a job. but how the hell was i supposed to apply when i did not even have reliable transportation. and also i just hate not having my car it was very depressing as well. but my mom got her car back today... so hopefully my dad's truck will be fixed soon as well... and then i can go back to being the only one using my car . i hate constantly adjusting the seat.

but about that. so my moms car broke down in town, about like 20 minutes away. so i was going to go w my dad to pick up my moms car and then i'd just drive my car back. there were a few small problems though. 1) i had never driven this far before. but 2) i had not gotten an hour of sleep the previous night. i was driving the freeway with a 150 bpm heart pounding in my chest dawg. it was terrible.

but it was better than i thought it would be lol. i enjoy driving on the freeway because it's just real open and shit so i can just relax. but good lord one of the stupidest things i have seen on the road are these fucking roads that like. go from two lanes and merge into one?? i legit do not get the point of that. it just feels like a recipe for car crashes.

I WAS SO SAD TOO CUZ i wanted to get mcdonalds breakfast this morning before i got fob tix. but my car was not here...... </3 and my normal wake up time is like 1-2 so you know...i dont exactly get up early enough for it normally. but i do want to fix it...

oh this reminds me...so last entry i also mentioned i won that lottery for kenshi yonezu tix in japan ya?

i won't be able to fucking make it. and it's not even cuz of money or nothing like that. it's cuz fob had to come to texas like. a few weeks after ... so i dont think i would be able to make it or even afford it haha. i dunno. we'll see.

i need to get in phys therapy for my back (it's been getting worse lately i'm 19 going on 60) and then mental therapy for my anxiety so i can like. cope better ... and then obviously get treatment for my chronic illness ;____; which is hard considering there are no specialists in houston and the waiting lists are all like months long dawggg😭😭 i do want to start walking tho now that i have my car i can go to the park whenever. now i just need to wait for the weather to get less rainy and cold.

I NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT TO SPEAK ABOUT MY WIFE A LOT THOUGH.

ok so i have always rly loved the idea of izaya my chem fan u know. so like i thought man it'd be cool to see him in my chem merch. problem is i cannot draw. so i was like "ok i will find someone w comms open!" i couldn't find anyone.

and then... like a light shining at the end of the tunnel... there it was. on my tumblr dashboard. a shizuo artist made a post abt comms being open. and their art was so beautiful. so i said fuck it. i dmd them on twitter. and my word within a few hours iirc they had such a beautiful sketch. and then the finished product was so... please look at it.

IZAYA IN MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE MERCHENIDIESE...!!!!

我が嫁…実に美しすぎる…♡

ちなみにねあそこの腹チラくっっっっそ最高ぜ

ong bruh.

and to top it all off the merch he's wearing in that pic is all stuff i have myself. ^_^ house of wolves one of my chems best songs and that damn tote bag i stood in line after the houston show way too damn long for. so ＼ある意味で彼シャツじゃん(*ﾉω・*)ﾃﾍ／（こいつ何言ってんの⁉⁉⁉）

i did make it my iphone wallpaper btw. just the home screen tho. lock screen would cover his face. : (
(one of the saddes parts of having iphone)

i dont have anything else specifically to say abt izaya i just love him and he's always on my mind check this out tho.

unreal. this 23 year old doing this shit. i need to marry him.

changing the topic i tried delta 9 for the first time the other day. let me tell you how this went. i swallowed it and only after swallowing it did i think to google "should you take delta 9 with pots" only to see everyone saying No. so already off to a very interesting start. to be honest i did not feel much for a while. it just made me kinda sleepy and stuff. that is until i went to lay down.

my heart hurt. i was so lightheaded. i thought i was gonna pass out bruh. BUT THIS WAS NOT THE FAULT OF THE DELTA 9 SOLELY. i jacked off once and then i tried to go to sleep but while i was like fading in and out of awareness and when i came to for like the 4th time my dick was out so like. it's no wonder i was nearly on my death bed. it was pretty gfunny tho i mean like shit i'd do it again.

hmm... but back to the subject of fob tour... i am so excited... i am tempted to email fall out boy and beg for snitches and talkers live for the first time in 16 years idc what it takes. OH AND THAT REMINDS ME. may 4th izaya orihara birthday is going to be crazyyyyy. i do have more izaya to speak on let me say this.

i got me a bottle of this champagne i had for his bday back in 2020 its so good. and my merch collection is growing steadily. and i plan to get one of those cakes with a pitcher on it so i'll get his stupid face on there. shittt izaya bday 2023 is going to be crazy bruh.

but i think that's all i have to say for now...! idk when i'll write in here next but until then. ^_-☆

Current Mood: excited

Happy New Year!!!

I did the New Year's countdown with my friend and my parents. ^_^ We had a toast as well...!

Yes, yes, I suppose it was rather irresponsible of me to drink champagne, especially since the last time I had alcohol, it sent my heart rate up to a nice 170 BPM while I sat on my friend's couch and regretted all of my actions. But I do enjoy champagne quite a bit. And I did better this time. The only thing that happened was I got a little tipsy and said just a little too much about what I want to do to Izaya. But it's okay! Because my friend agreed he was very hot. So that's a win for me. (what the hell is this guy talking about)

Anyways! My mom got me a gift for the New Year's as well! Michael Romance Three Cheers Oxford Blood Vinyl... :333 It just shipped out today too I'm so excited.

I'm going to try to go to the DMV this week. I need to get my license already... I can drive well enough, I just need to actually...be legal lol. I won't go back to college again this semester unfortunately... the timing is just really bad, and I want to go work for a bit to save money. And once I get my license, I'll be able to drive myself places...!

For starters, I need to get back into therapy lol. Both physical and mental. My back is only going to get worse the longer I put it off unfortunately... and I just need to manage my anxiety well enough so I can handle travelling.

Which brings me to one of the main reasons I wanted to get a job and save money. Back in late November, I got the KICK BACK CD single from Kenshi Yonezu...I was only getting it because I really wanted to own it physically at first, but then I read on his site that there was a code to enter in the ticket lottery for his tour next year...! And so I entered...

And I won!!!

So I'm going to go to Japan in June to see him in Saitama. ^_^ Of course, I'm planning to stay at a hotel in Shinjuku not for any particular reason haha no way. Actually on a serious note I found this hotel that's got a fucking IKEA and Kinokuniya right next to it so this is perfect. Plus the hotel itself is really nice looking and a good price so I am glad I found it.

I probably won't go too far while I'm there. I do want to go to Shibuya, and I'll go to Saitama of course, but I probably won't go too far out of Tokyo. There's this Mexican restaurant I wanna go to in Shibuya... it would be nice to have something so familiar while I'm across the globe. :3

I don't know how long I'll stay yet. I'm not too good with long trips, but I think if I go alone and just go to places at my own leisure, I wouldn't have to worry about getting stressed...

Ah, but there are some other things I need to do here as well...mainly, getting a passport haha. But I also want to at least get a little better at actually speaking Japanese. My vocabulary is...alright, but my speech problems are the biggest issue I have. Really, I'm bad with speech no matter what language, but Japanese is even worse because I'm nowhere near fluent and tend to trip on my words a lot haha;;;

But back to right now. There's only a few weeks until the 28th...! I had a dream that Kujibikido tweeted out the art for Shizuo's bday kuji that's how excited I am. Please let the yen stay low so I can minimize the amount of money spent...!

My New Year's has been kind of stressful. More than I would have liked. First of all, my prescription ran out yesterday...so I got to sleep while suffering the terrible withdrawal symptoms. It was really bad too. I woke up randomly at 6am with a stomach ache, nausea, and it felt so hot. Then, when I got up to go grab my old prescription of a different beta blocker just to see if it would help, my heart rate went up to 160 BPM... 🙂 Needless to say I did not feel good. Thankfully, the medicine worked a little bit, and I got to fall back asleep a little bit after. ^_^

Originally, I wasn't supposed to get my refill until tomorrow, because for some reason I had to request it myself since I had no refills? But whatever. Anyways I was already going out to get bloodwork, and so I clung onto hope and checked my prescription status. And to my surprise, it was actually ready...! I thanked whatever god was out there and was going to go get it after my appointment.

...which actually took a bit longer than I expected. See, when I originally booked it, I just said "hey I wanna get my vitamins tested" and figured I'd just elaborate when I got there. But apparently, if you're ordering it yourself, you have to buy the test online first. I was not told this on the website. But whatever. So I went back out the waiting room and ordered a Thiamine panel quickly. The rest was really quick, thankfully, and then I went to go pick up my meds. And then... I got to get crab sticks and katsu...! I was so happy. ^_^

Ah...I want to talk about my Last.fm wrapped as well.

It's reallty unsurprising lol. I listened to a fuckton of My Chem this year thanks to them coming back and seeing them twice haha. I really hope the rumors about a 2023/2024 tour and album were true because good lord twice was not enough. Same with Fall Out Boy...! I haven't seen them in years (I missed so many shows of theirs because my parents said I already saw them once 🥲) and I really am looking forward to FOB8...! The teaser and websites are so exciting. Ohh... what I would give for a double tour with MCR and FOB together... Snitches and Talkers and TIHID better be on the damn setlists too.

And KICK BACK...! I just hit like 666 scrobbles the other day haha. Ohh...and I also hit 7k FOB scrobbles! ^_^

But aside from all of these, I've been listening to a lot of Radiohead lately... (looking around) I got OK Computer on CD a while back but I want In Rainbows now as well hehe. :3 Actually they are still my top artist of 2023 which is a really... interesting start to the year;;

And this was my top songs playlist! I prefer this one over the Spotify wrapped because it went all the way to December 31st and not just October lol.

I think that's all I have to say for now, though...ohh...but I did preorder the Kaito Dollfie Dream back in December! Hopefully the yen stays low by the time I pay the rest haha. Because I have another preorder that comes out around what I'm assuming will be the same time... though I wouldn't be surprised if it got delayed haha. Either way it's fine... I'll be able to handle it, I'm just really excited haha.

And then the Durarara bunkasai kuji stuff ships out late January-early Feburary so I'll buy some stuff of Amazon JP and combine that together hehe.

Alright that's all now... bye bye !! ^_^

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Infinity on High

Hello.

Haha, it's been quite a while since I wrote my last entry, hasn't it?

I was a bit busy. And by busy I mean listening to KICK BACK by Kenshi Yonezu over 200 times.

It's so good. It's so good. (said it twice)

Seriously, the bass is so fucking beautiful. Now, I am not particularly skilled at expressing my thoughts on music properly. I do not know how to put into words the feelings certain parts of songs evoke within me. And it's usually a very specific part (a few notes) that I can't even pinpoint it.. and if I were to isolate it, it might not hold the same weight...

But! I will say this. Since I was in 7th grade, I've been a huge fan of isolating each instrument to hear how they sound on their own. One of my favorite songs to do this with is This is How I Disappear. Which is also one of my fave mcr songs in general. Ohh.... I love the guitar in there so much. And that one solo in The Ghost of You. Good fucking god is it ethereal.

I've always wanted to play an instrument, actually. First it was the drums, then it was the bass, and then it was the guitar. And then it went between those three a ton. Nowadays, I think I would settle on guitar. The electric guitar, specifically. I love its sound and I really think being able to play all the guitar solos that I have admired for years would fill me with such a sense of joy and accomplishment...!

Oh, but I must change the subject now. Recently, I ran out of refills for my medicine. Here is a little backstory on this: I am chronically ill. I have a heart condition. It sucks the life out of me but it's not like a soul-sucking blowjob so it fucking blows (ha ha). But anyways. I take beta blockers for it, to keep my heart rate under control. To be honest, the one I'm on now doesn't do a ton for me because I still always just have this general feeling of sickness, but it does help. But there are withdrawal symptoms! And oh lord are they bad.

So I didn't realize I was going to run out. I was like "Fuck, alright let me go pick up my refill." I go to the pharmacy and I'm like "Hey i need to pick up my meds." I am told that I have no more refills.

squidward gif breaking into a million pieces distorted

squidward gif breaking into a million pieces distorted

Fuck.

Okay. Let me call my doctor's office. Now I am not hopeful because my doctor has since moved cities and hospitals but I still call. I am begging god.

HE DOES NOT FUCKING ANSWER.

I am told they cannot give me a refill. So I have to miss my first dose of the day. The pharmacy says they'll give me an emergency refill for 3 days so my mom drops me off at the store to pick it up. I'm like alright I'll try to shop or something while I am here.

My heart rate is at a nice 145 BPM while I am just walking calmly down the aisle. I'm over here trying to get my mom's coffee and as soon as I bend down and get up it's like my life flashes before my very eyes. I couldn't do it. I had to leave the damn cart there that's how bad it was.

And you may be thinking. Haha. This guy's just overreacting. NO. It was so fucking bad I was actually posting nice things about Izaya Orihara. I was COMPLIMENTING him....!!! Now if there is one thing you need to know about me it is that I do not start doing that shit unless I think I am about to die.

But anyways my dad picked me up eventually and I went home and resigned back to my room to recover. I went to my PCP within the next few days and got a month's worth refill till I can see my cardiologist again...! But a month goes by relatively fast, so I'll have to get on that soon;;

I have been doing really bad lately though...it's so hard for me to just go out and do stuff. The past few times I went shopping, I'm winded and feeling like I want to pass out by the time I get in the car. I need to still get tested for another condition so I can get proper treatment because I cannot live like this. I'm only 19 but it feels very alienating when I look around at those my age and I see everyone running around and doing all this shit.

I dunno what I need. I dunno what I want.

I feel like I am supposed to have done more at this point. I haven't felt like a proper adult, no matter what I've done. I guess it's not really my fault. But it is still stressful. I just wish I could do more... I wish my life wasn't like Persona 5 where I can only do one thing within each part of the day and then I'm too tired.

But anyways. Enough of the depressing shit. Muchka 3.3 confirmation————!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ワクワク)
To be honest I really wanted him to stay electro when it was first announced he was gonna be anemo. And his redesign took a bit to really grow on me. But I'm happy with it. It is quite blue, though, don't you think? I am thankful they made his shorts a tiny bit shorter though. (Weird and deranged)

And the leaks......uwao, they're really fun looking...! I can't wait to properly play him. I wonder what'll be like with Childe's riptide.

Oh, but I do have one qualm.

..."Wanderer"...? ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I wish his playable name was Kunikuzushi. Well. There is always the possibility that his name'll eventually change...!? Is what I heard, but I dunno.

I have 426 pulls saved up, btw...! Muchka and his weapon will drain my savings, but I am going to try for Ei after. And then...I need to pull...Yelan........(a shudder just went down my spine)

She is so cool. She is so cool. (said it twice)

She's like. Erm. Dare I say this. She's like Izaya. So you know...it's only natural...I fall for her...

But it's not just that. I really think her kit is a lot of fun. It just didn't really hit me till this Adventurer's Trials event, hehe.

Ah, but it's nearly 3. I wanna go to bed soon, so I'll end this here. Goodnight...!

Current Music: KICK BACK

hello...!

actually the title is a lie haha. i had another dreamwidth account but this is the best url ever so i'm migrating here. over there i just posted for myself anyways hehe.

today, (er, yesterday) a lot happened...! but the biggest thing is that i finally got a car...! i was supposed to get one at 16 along with my permit but we just kept putting it off and before we knew it, three years had passed —— but what matters is that i finally got a car!!

i'm really excited to decorate it and make it mine. also, the speaker system is really good (tested with very many mcr songs at nearly full volume) so i am very happy...! haha, i'm talking about all these different things, but i don't touch on the most important aspect of a car... i don't have my priorities straight.

this is good though...! because i'm one step closer to my annoyingly long journey to prepare for my vacation to japan next year. actually, i was going to wait quite a bit longer to go, but once i saw mcr was going to be over there late march, i knew i had to go. hanami right after an mcr concert would hit different i just know it. (vibrating)

so that journey huh. it's a lot longer than what you'd expect. but that's because on top of travel expenses, i need to get a passport, get my chronic illnesses and anxiety properly managed, ALL WHILE never having even so much as leaving my state before. so suffice to say it's a little overwhelming. but even though i second guess my planning and doubt myself being able to do it, i remember that if i don't go i will regret it for years probably.

and i can say this from experience after missing out on a fall out boy + rob thomas concert in my city and not realizing it until 2 years later. fast forward 5 more years i still regret it.

plus, i'll be in shinjuku aka wife city so i'll just be chilling...

oh speaking of izaya u know there's the durarara bunkasai kuji going on rn right?! and so i did a couple ten pulls (genshin lasting effects) and i got 1 izaya stand, 3 (!?!?!) izaya posters, and some charms here and there...! i'm going to do one more once the 書き下ろしリーフレット後編おまけ期間 begins because i need both parts god bless .!

you know i've been curious for a while about what they're doing with all these events...cuz you know it started back in 2018 with just a few things from pale tone and then the next yr durarara stage was announced... then when shizuiza bday kujis first dropped last yr it was a shock...! of course you know i pulled. 🙏😘 but still you have to wonder what it all is leading to... narita even said he'd like sh to get an anime so that's what i first go to but i saw a tweet recently with all the things that were possible and it was smth like this:

izaya series anime (either movie or ova)
new drrr novel (either shizuo spinoff or izaya/sh volume)
stage saikahen
sh anime
narita 20 yr anni debut crossover with other naritaverse series
exhibition for the 20yr anni
minidura anime

minidura anime huh...!!! i'd love to see that. not just because there was a chapter where izaya had on an angel costume i mean that i would be paying very close attention to that but ahahaha. (looks away) jokes aside it's a fun manga i'd love to see it get an anime adaptation. and a shizuo spinoff... narita mentioned he'd like to do that and i'd be first in line to get it.....! as deranged of an izaya fan as i am i am also a big shizuo fan and i like to hear him talk. another izaya series volume might just be pushes me off the edge and makes me jump so please narita for my sake don't put it out now. （；^ω^）

oh, i just remembered something else... it's completely off topic, but fall out boy's supposed to do a show early next yr... and there was a bunch of people getting facebook alerts for a concert all the way in october 2023... it's off ticketmaster's site now but i saw it with my own two eyes...! i don't know what it means but i hope it's another tour... apparently joe had told someone at his book signing that he wanted to play a lot more deep cuts live and i was so touched...! joe, you are so wonderful... please play snitches and talkers and ginasfs at my show... i'd cry so hard...mcr didn't play this is how i disappear at my show so i have yet to bawl at a concert. they just liked dallas soooo much better i guess. (shaking with anger)

but isn't it crazy? mania already came out nearly 5 yrs ago...! it feels like just last year they dropped young and menace. i think i was confused as to how i had managed to click on a different artist's song until it hit that this was fall out boy. the 11 year old in me died a little that day. i hope their next album is more true to their roots... i know bands change and there's nothing wrong with it! hell danger days was a huge change from mcr's previous stuff but it was well executed! mania just felt so soulless... idk ... i dont want to say anything too much because i don't know anything but u know. yea.

anyways. it's already 2:30 am. i'll probably stay up all night to watch the genshin stream but after that i'm passing out lol. to be honest i havent had much interest in the game lately other than using it for my shizaya vision/weapon headcanons but they're finally letting scara out of the basement...........so i will pay attention.

but that's all from me for now i think! i have a few other things but they're just kind of free thoughts and not very extensive so i won't write them all. バイバイビー☆ （いきなり甘楽ちゃんモード）

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: mcr + masa